Should Christian Women Masturbate?

The answer is absolutely NO and here is why.

SEX IS FOR MARRIAGE AND NOTHING ELSE.

ladies, it does not matter what any psychologists say, what the world does, or how good it makes you feel. It doesn’t even matter if your husband is okay with you masturbating. WE MUST FOLLOW THE WORD OF GOD ALONE.

The Lord was so gracious to make sex pleasurable for men and women. He could have created it to be for procreation only but He didn’t. He wants us to enjoy this pleasure with our spouse. ANY KIND OF SEX OUTSIDE OF YOUR MARRIAGE IS SIN.

Masturbating is self-pleasure. It is selfish. It is not what your private area pleasure zones are for. They are for your husband to please you: to bring about a closer intimacy between you and him.

Hebrews 13:4, “Marriage is honorable among all, and the bed undefiled; but fornicators and adulterers God will judge.” 

MASTURBATING OPENS DOORS TO ADULTERY

You may be new here. If so, I am so grateful you’re taking the time to read this post but I should share with you that even though my experiences are not needed to add to Scripture, I share because I do know VERY seriously and well how truthful the warnings of Scripture are in these areas.

I used to be addicted to sexual sins and yes, I have committed adultery – and not just of the heart (lusting.) Matthew 5:28.

With masturbating, your mind wanders and creates fantasizes, recreates images, and open doors to lusting after other men; possibly even other women.

Even if your husband is masturbating with you – it is TOO easy to think about someone else when you’re touching yourself and creating the mood/environment to reach orgasm.

Even using your husband in your mind but as a different person other than your husband is dangerous. For example: You imagine your husband is a fireman coming to rescue you and then you end up having sex. If your husband is not a firefighter, you are putting a fantasy in the place of reality and seeking pleasure from THAT and not who your husband actually is. This is so so dangerous and it’s a slippery slope.

These sexual sins can start off seeming so “innocent” but they grow like a cancer.

I started off masturbating, then it went to watching porn while masturbating, and then it moved to actual adultery with other men; One I ended up having sex with.

I NEVER EVER thought that I would be that woman. God has so graciously saved me, given me a new heart, and changed my desires to a Holy Hatred for these sins but it is who I was and what I did. I was wretched, vile, and wicked. My desire to be faithful to my husband, in my own strength, was ZERO match for this sin. It ruled me.

1 Corinthians 6:18-20 

Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body. Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.

Watching porn, fantasizing, and sexting (emotional and not actual physical intimacy) is all still ADULTERY. This sin, again, is SERIOUS. All sin is serious but sins have different degrees of consequences to them. Sexual sin is a death sentence without Jesus Christ’s intervention.

Look at the warning God gives in 1 Thessalonians 4 about Christians and sexual immorality.

It is God’s will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality; that each of you should learn to control your own body[a] in a way that is holy and honorable, not in passionate lust like the pagans, who do not know God; and that in this matter no one should wrong or take advantage of a brother or sister.[b] The Lord will punish all those who commit such sins, as we told you and warned you before. For God did not call us to be impure, but to live a holy life. Therefore, anyone who rejects this instruction does not reject a human being but God, the very God who gives you his Holy Spirit.

MASTURBATING, EVEN WITH YOUR HUSBAND, ROBS HIM AND YOU.

There’s argument that anything in the bedroom, as a married couple, is permissible. Not true.

Porn is not permissible. A threesome is not permissible. Anal sex is even something STRONGLY discouraged by wise Christian men and women, though the Bible doesn’t address this specifically.

Masturbating while watching your husband or while being intimate with him robs him of learning your body and growing in intimacy with you.

I get it, we know our bodies and what feels good. Sometimes our husband’s struggle to do what feels good or what will have us reach climax. This does not mean that we should take over and just do it ourselves. This is opportunity to GROW together in sex. You have your entire lives to master sex with one another, so TEACH him what feels good and what doesn’t. Communicate. Guide his hand and let him be the one to pleasure you.

Again, masturbating is selfish. Do not rob this growing period in intimacy by taking charge and not allowing him to explore you, get to know your body, and be the one who gives you this unique pleasure.

1 Corinthians 10:8 

We must not indulge in sexual immorality as some of them did, and twenty-three thousand fell in a single day.

Colossians 3:5 

Put to death therefore what is earthly in you: sexual immorality, impurity, passion, evil desire, and covetousness, which is idolatry.

PUT THIS SIN TO DEATH

If you have struggled with this or are struggling, sister I know how hard it can be to give this up BUT if you are truly in Christ, then it should not be something we desire to cling to.

It wasn’t until Jesus regenerated me that sexual sins changed for me. I was abstaining but still desiring. Today, I have little to no desire to commit any of those sins. It has been a drastic change and it was all done by the grace of Jesus Christ.

  • REMOVE ALL TEMPTATION. DELETE APPS. REMOVE YOUR TV FROM YOUR BEDROOM. END INAPPROPRIATE RELATIONSHIPS. NOW. TODAY.
  • CONFESS TO SOMEONE. YOU NEED GODLY ACCOUNTABILITY.
  • REPENT. THIS IS NOT THE SAME AS REMORSE. REPENTANCE IS A TURNING AWAY FROM THIS SIN. IT DOESN’T MEAN YOU’LL NEVER BE TEMPTED AGAIN OR EVEN FAIL TO ABSTAIN BUT IT IS SO MUCH MORE THAN SAYING “SORRY.”
  • PRAY. PRAY. PRAY. THERE WERE TIMES EVEN DURING SEX WITH MY HUSBAND THAT MY MIND WOULD START TO WANDER AND I WOULD PRAY TO BE FOCUSED ON MY JACOB AND NOT HAVE MY THOUGHTS STRAY.
  • RENEW YOUR MIND WITH THE WORD OF GOD. CONSTANTLY!
  • STOP WATCHING FILTH. NO SEXUAL CONTENT LADIES. BE RID OF IT. NO EXCUSES.

JESUS CHRIST SAVES

I promise there is true victory in Christ Jesus over all sin.

1 Corinthians 10:13 

No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.

The Lord changed my heart. He made me a new woman. I continually went to Him with these sexual desires I had. One day, it was just true – I had a holy hatred for these things. I hate them. I pray it gets stronger and stronger. The Word of God is sufficient for taking this DEATHLY SERIOUS, your feelings do not need to line up but your OBEDIENCE does.

While I was obeying the Lord I prayed He would change my feelings and eventually, He did.

PRAY, BE IN THE WORD, STOP PARTAKING IN WORLDLY PLEASURES AND ENTERTAINMENT, AND TRUST THE LORD.

Galatians 5:1 

For freedom Christ has set us free; stand firm therefore, and do not submit again to a yoke of slavery.

1 John 1:9 

If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

Philippians 4:8 

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.

We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ. — 2 Corinthians 10:5

Sweet sisters, the Lord – again, undeservingly saved me and restored my marriage but through HIS WORD He told me (and you) what to DO. Please kill these sins by repenting, renewing your mind through the Word, replacing the lusts of the flesh with GOOD THINGS for HIS GLORY.

When you’re struggling, MOVE. Get up and walk away from your bed or out of the shower. GO somewhere and immediately pray. Text a trusted friend or call them to pray with you. Put on a sermon or worship music. Do not allow tempters around you. PERIOD.

1 Peter 2:11 

Beloved, I urge you as sojourners and exiles to abstain from the passions of the flesh, which wage war against your soul.

I share my story most certainly for God to use it for His own purposes and for His glory. I still carry great shame for the things I have done but I know HE IS FAITHFUL TO FORGIVE US FROM ALL UNRIGHTEOUSNESS.

Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus,ROMANS 8:1

The Lord is so kind, so patient, and so gracious. We deserve nothing but His wrath and yet, He offered up His Son to take our place. Ladies, do not think that you can truly be in Christ and sin without conviction and repentance.

No one who is born of God will continue to sin, because God’s seed remains in them; they cannot go on sinning, because they have been born of God. 1 John 3:9

Continually go to Christ. Daily. Hourly. HE ALONE IS OUR PORTION AND THE CUP. Trust Him with your sanctification. It is His will for us as His children. 1 Thessalonians 4.

SOLI DEO GLORIA.

6 thoughts on “Should Christian Women Masturbate?

  1. Thanks for addressing this, Jillian! Bold!
    Respectfully, though I absolutely agree with your position on solo masturbation – even if you’re thinking about your husband while you do – I differ on masturbation during sex with your husband if it helps to bring you both to satisfaction and it is focused on your loved one. To me, this is one of the ways our bodies respond to intimate sexual contact with our one person and accommodates our unique biologies. Orgasm itself is necessary for procreation and thus should not be deemed selfish in normal circumstances.
    I’m open to correction on this!

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  2. If God didn’t want you to feel good, why would It make a clitoris? Does the same sentiment hold for men or is it for women only?

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    1. Anything sex related is to happen only within a marriage. He does want sex to feel good and be enjoyable – WITH your spouse. Yes, it goes the same for men.

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  3. Thank you I needed to read this.
    I have repented and I believe I am forgiven, now I will pray more and more to hate this sin.

    Like

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