Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes.

Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight. - 1 PETER 3


Having a gentle and quiet spirit is not about being a woman who looks shy, timid, angelic, or fragile. There are MANY WOMEN who LOOK meek and gentle but their SPIRIT is far far from it and there are MANY WOMEN who LOOK intimidating, fierce, and sometimes even unapproachable but have a true spirit of the Lord.

We cannot know someone’s spirit by their looks – their demeanor. Some women are absolutely SHY and look that way but are in sin, having a spirit of rebellion, gossip, and haughtiness.

There was a woman in a church my husband Pastored at who just looked MEAN. I was scared of her to be honest but after being invited to her home and spending time with her, she turned out to be one of the kindest and serving women I’ve ever known.


I know so many women who feel tension with this verse because they are LOUD women; they laugh loudly, the talk loudly, they cry loudly, their personalities are just MASSIVE.

Ladies, you can absolutely have a gentle and quiet spirit and RESPOND to things LOUDLY! I can be loud and this isn’t in combat with having a gentle and quiet spirit. My spirit can be submissive and obedient to God’s Word and when my husband gets me going: I CAN LAUGH LOUDLY, When I am at the Abortion Mill and see a woman going inside to murder her baby: My response can be LOUD AND BOLD – sharing truth and pleading for her to change her mind, when I see my sister after months of distance and we start talking: WE CAN GET LOUD ENJOYING EACH OTHER’S COMPANY.

Volume and Boldness is not indicative of not having a gentle and quiet spirit.


Reputation is what you’re known for but it doesn’t necessarily mean who you are NOW in the present and future tense.

I am 95% sure that I have a reputation a lot of places for being a rebellious woman, a thorn to my husband, and a woman who is self-centered and vain. You know what? Those people would be absolutely correct. My past is FULL of sin. FULL OF IT.

But my present and future is not. I have been completely washed clean of ALL my unrighteousness. I will still sin in my life (1 John) but I have an advocate in Christ who continues to forgive me when I fall. There’s a HUGE difference in being a SINNER: DEAD IN HER SINS and a Woman who is a SINNER: ALIVE, SAVED, AND COVERED BY THE GRACE OF JESUS CHRIST.

I have repented and been set free. Whether my regeneration was recent (as I suspect it was) or if I really was a Christian living for SELF and not CHRIST – GOD HAS CHANGED ME DRASTICALLY. So currently, even with a bad reputation places, I am a woman who has a gentle and quiet Spirit (not perfectly) but I do.

My reputation does not define me currently.

Same for you dear sister. You are not who you once were when you are in Christ. You are a new creation. 2 Corinthians 5:17


A woman who wears muted colors, drawing ZERO attention to herself is not automatically a “gentle and quiet” spirited woman in Christ.

Last year my husband and I spent some time with a man who had escaped from his Amish community. The stories he shared brought me to tears. These people are in great bondage and need Jesus Christ. Their apparel may scream “NOT LIKE THIS WORLD” but they are still enslaved to sin like others dead in their sins. THEY NEED JESUS CHRIST.

I am not addressing Modesty. Christian women should absolutely not be dressing in a seductive and sensual manner. Period. This does reflect the status of the heart. Ephesians 5.

But a woman who wears bold fashion colors and prints, sparkly dresses, and maybe fashion that looks artistic and quirky is not automatically a woman who is in rebellion to the Lord. We have freedom in Christ to enjoy creativity in our fashion – as long as that isn’t giving way to sin of sexual immorality, pride, lust, etc.


  • OBEDIENCE AND SURRENDER: A woman with a gentle and quiet spirit is a woman who has been covered in the gift of Grace, in Jesus Christ. She is a new creation and no longer desires to serve SELF but CHRIST. She obeys the Word of God and repents when she doesn’t. She is a woman of SURRENDER: whether it be to her dreams, her health, her comfort, her convenience, or her physical body – she surrenders it all as a LIVING SACRIFICE (NOT perfectly. If we could be perfect within our own works and strength we wouldn’t need Jesus. It will not be perfect but it will be continual repentance and being sanctified, growing in the Word and in the Spirit.) She is committed to living and dying for her Savior, Yahweh – THE TRIUNE LORD.
  • SUBMISSIVE: A woman with a gentle and quiet spirit submits to God’s Order and Purpose for her life. She knows her husband is her head as Jesus is the head of the church. She submits to this and prays for the Lord to give her a desire to have JOY in this order. She does not work to overshadow her husband but she works to be a respect to him: a crown and not rot. (Proverbs 12). She allows him to lead her and her children. She submits to him in everything as the Word of God commands. (Ephesians 5) She is not his Holy Spirit but his helper. She does not embarrass him with her dress, conduct, or speech. Proverbs 31 says we should be bringing our husbands help and not harm all our lives. She also submits her feelings to the renewing of her mind in the Word of God.
  • WISE: A woman with a gentle and quiet spirit studies the Word of God daily. She doesn’t just read it but applies it. She knows there is great wisdom in being still, not reacting or becoming annoyed quickly, she knows her conduct should be that of a righteous woman and not one who is foolish and worldly. She hides His Word in her heart and continually practices it. This means she doesn’t just lash out at her husband, children, and others when she is angry. She goes to the Lord before responding. Again, not PERFECTLY but she beats her body into submission – working on producing good fruit BECAUSE she is in Christ and good fruit is evidence of that.
  • SECOND PLACE: A woman with a gentle and quiet spirit does not need to be the center of attention. She is not weak but meek. She doesn’t need the glory, the praise, the honor, or the applause. She knows full well that she is not good. She is a wretched sinner who deserves God’s wrath. (Romans 3). She gives the Lord ALL the glory and takes none for herself. Her gifts on display for others is to showcase GOD’S GREATNESS and not her own. She doesn’t mind being made small so that God’s glory is LARGE! Her opinion is not needed – she speaks from the Word of God as her authority and the standard for truth.
  • A SIN KILLER: This woman kills sin – not on her own but through the Armor of the Lord, denying herself and following Christ. She prays for a hatred of sin. She is broken over her sins and repents. She desires to live a Holy life that is pleasing to the Lord. She loves Jesus more than herself and her sin.

I am sure I could continue to describe this woman but I think you get the point. Ladies, we need to be obedient to God’s Word. SEEK HIM and you will find Him. He will help you kill any pride in yourself and submit to His ultimate Lordship.

The Feminists and the Progressive Christians want women EMPOWERED AND PROMOTED. We need to be women DEMOTED in CHRIST. Self-empowerment would be to be our own god and we should ONLY SERVE ONE LORD – THE LORD.

Read 1 John tonight and see what the evidences are of a true believer. We are way too focused on ourselves. We need to pray that the Lord would humble us, even if that means it’ll hurt, and start focusing on HIM AND OTHERS.

SELF LOVE IS A CANCER sweet friend. Kill it with the power of Jesus Christ in your life. Deny yourself, pick up your cross, and follow – not your dreams or your wishes but JESUS CHRIST!!!!!!

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