This morning we had a tearful conversation, my 9 year old and I, about Discipline.
Let me fill you in on what happened the night before.
Without going into a lot of details, my 9 year old disobeyed one of her father’s and my rules that could have had safety consequences; she could have put herself in a dangerous situation because she didn’t obey our rule.
I told her, very firmly, how dangerous her disobedience was and that it was sinful. Disobeying Mommy and Daddy is also disobeying the Lord.
Of course she cried and apologized a lot. I decided after talking with my husband that the punishment would be that she would have to immediately go to bed after dinner and her bath. No family fun time afterwards – straight to bed.
Fast forward a few hours after she had been put to bed and my older daughter went to check on her for me. She found her sister on her bed, asleep, but with all the sheets removed from the bed: the mattresses’ fitted sheet, the sheet she sleeps under, and all her pillows and other blankets were piled on the floor.
I knew she had done this in a prideful-victim mentality. My 9 year old takes after me and can be quite dramatic. She was saying “I am so bad, I don’t deserve these cozy blankets.” What she was really doing was wanting me to feel guilty. I covered her up with a blanket and let her sleep for the rest of the evening.
This morning we had a talk.
I gave her the opportunity to tell me why she had stripped her bed of all her sheets and blankets, pillows and dolls. She looked down with a sad expression and shrugged. I didn’t let it slide, I asked again.
She admitted that she wanted me to feel badly about punishing her.
This is when I got teary.
My mother’s heart wanted to tell her I was sorry because I knew it had hurt her heart so badly to miss out on family fun time after dinner. Her eyes were still a little puffy from crying in her bed and I hate that!
HOWEVER, I am a Mommy who knows what God’s Word says:
24 Whoever spares the rod hates his son,
but he who loves him is diligent to discipline him.
I started crying explaining to Presley that if I were to have not disciplined her for her disobedience that I would be showing her hatred and not love.
I also explained to her, that her actions, of wanting me to feel badly for disciplining her, were sinful. If I didn’t discipline her disobedience I would be disobeying the Lord.
Do you want Mommy to sin?
This really got the message across. I talked to her about how God disciplines us as well. Why? BECAUSE HE LOVES US!
19 Those whom I love, I reprove and discipline, so be zealous and repent.
After our talk, she hugged me so tightly, apologized, and said: “You’re the best Mommy ever!!!”
Mamas, it can be very hard sometimes to follow through and discipline our littles – even our teens BUT WE MUST DO SO.
IT IS BECAUSE OF LOVE THAT WE DISCIPLINE!
We want our children to obey – first and foremost to obey the Word of God. Instructing them in these truths when they are younger will, God-willing, lead them to be adults who continue to fear the Lord and obey, also repenting when they do not.
Just remember God says it is LOVING to have consequences to their disobedience. You are being an obedient and Godly Mother when you follow through and implement appropriate discipline for your child.
11 My son, do not despise the LORD’s discipline
or be weary of his reproof,
12 for the LORD reproves him whom he loves,
as a father the son in whom he delights.