WHAT IT TAKES TO HEAL

So many women are hurting. To be transparent, I am hurting.

Women go to therapy, counseling, medication, exercise, food, booze, etc. for HEALING. To be clear: I am a supporter of Christian counseling and therapy – even medication under a Physician if it’s needed.

Women go to all sorts of sources and substances to feel better, to feel safe, to feel “over it,” to feel anything.

The truth is ladies, the only way we will ever TRULY and REALLY heal is by the grace and work of Jesus Christ.

"For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, is working for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory, while we do not look at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen. For the things which are seen are temporary, but the things which are not seen are eternal.” - 2 Corinthians 4:17-18

No matter what is causing your heart to ache, your throat to feel raw from all the crying, or making you distant from your life because you just can’t get out of the painful fog that follows your every move – JESUS IS THE ANSWER TO HEALING.

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." - Philippians 4:6-7

Here’s what we can do to start healing:

Go to the Lord in prayer – constantly. We should be speaking to Him more than any friend or family member. Pour out your heart to Him until you get to that place where you feel like there are no words left and all you can do is just be still and feel the cry of your heart.

Maybe you don’t know what I’m talking about?

I just know that at times I have given everything I have in prayer that I have nothing left – no energy even. And I just lay there – still – repeating in my head: “Help me Father or forgive me Father.” GO TO THE LORD. GIVE IT ALL TO HIM. Tell Him what has hurt you, who has hurt you. POUR IT COMPLETELY OUT.


RENEW YOUR FEELINGS WITH THE WORD. Ladies, everything we feel is not accurate, right, or fruitful. Once we’ve laid our feelings and thoughts out before the throne of God, we need to go to Him for the answers.

The way God speaks to us is through His Word – SOLA SCRIPTURA. Everything you EVER POSSIBLY could experience or go through, the answer to your pain can be found in the Word.

Even in the last few sleepless nights I have had to go through my pain and hold it up to Scripture. Humble myself before the TRUTH.

Let me give you some examples:

THE PERSON WHO HURT ME? I must forgive. It is a commandment friends. It doesn’t mean we wont still feel the anger, the hurt, the heartache, the betrayal. We probably will. But we should focus our hearts to forgive those who sin against us.

Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. – Colossians 3:13

Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. – Ephesians 4:31-32

Ladies, that’s only two verses of many but one would be enough. God has spoken. WE MUST FORGIVE THOSE WHO HAVE WRONGED US – it doesn’t matter to what degree of pain they have caused. God will punish those who go unrepentant and those who do repent – well, they’re fully covered in His grace – as are you. As am I.

SO this is one way we renew our thinking, our emotions.

You may want someone to be punished for what they’ve done. You may even want them to suffer. These thoughts need to be RENEWED by CHRIST. In Jesus, we should desire for the person or persons to be filled with the Spirit – forgiven, renewed, restored, blessed, protected, sanctified.

Do not allow hatred, bitterness, rage, or anger grow in your heart. These things do not honor the Lord and HE IS STRONG ENOUGH TO SEE US PAST ANY ABUSE, BETRAYAL, HURT, OR AFFLICTION. Do we believe He is Sovereign or not?

Disclaimer: If someone has or is hurting you physically, please go to the authorities. You can forgive someone and still seek legal action. We have laws for a reason. Get help. Domestic violence and sexual abuse is never okay.

THE AGONY I FEEL? I must trust God to be my Strength. When you feel the pain, when you want to curl up and even disappear, when you can’t cry anymore, when the stabbing of your heart is so intense you can’t breathe…Go to your one true Hope:

But I will sing of your strength, in the morning I will sing of your love; for you are my fortress, my refuge in times of trouble.Psalm 59:16

My soul is weary with sorrow; strengthen me according to your word.- Psalm 119:28

“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” – John 16:33

The Bible is full of stories of pain; utter heartache; stories of how these faithful followers of the Lord persevered by the Lord’s strength. Continually go to the Word ladies. CONTINUALLY.

It can sometimes feel like the hurt will never go away but that’s where we need to keep trusting our Heavenly Father. If it does not go away we can trust that there is a purpose for it.


This song, by one of my absolute favorite worship singers “Shane & Shane,” has been my song over the last 6 months. I have blared it in the shower, sang it boldly in the car, and wept on the floor to it on repeat.

The beauty of this song is that it reminds me that no matter what I experience in this life that I am a woman who was created to WORSHIP God!

It’s never been about me but always about HIM: His purposes, His will, His GLORY!

WHATEVER YOU’RE GOING THROUGH, WHAT I AM GOING THROUGH, IS NOT FOR NOTHING!

But he was wounded for our transgressions; he was crushed for our iniquities; upon him was the chastisement that brought us peace, and with his stripes we are healed.- Isaiah 53:5

We have every reason to PRAISE, DANCE, SING, AND BE JOYFUL – even while in pain.

No matter what you’re going through – whether by someone else’s doing or your own – GO TO CHRIST. HE IS THE SOLUTION. HE IS THE ANSWER. HE IS EVERYTHING.

It takes surrender, it takes discipline, it takes turning from your FLESH and putting on CHRIST. Let’s not allow our hurt to become an idol – something we elevate and worship with our time, energy, actions, thoughts, and reactions. CHRIST MUST REIGN OVER ALL.

By His grace and for His glory.

He himself bore our sins in his body on the tree, that we might die to sin and live to righteousness. By his wounds you have been healed. 1 Peter 2:24

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