I was introduced to the American Gospel documentary one night at a dinner with friends. It was introduced to me as “A documentary exposing Benny Hinn.”
I was like “yea okay!” lol. And I didn’t think any more of it until some days later when my husband and I were laying in bed and decided to throw something on. We chose to watch the free 1 hour version of AMERICAN GOSPEL.
It in fact was NOT a documentary exposing Benny Hinn but a documentary that portrayed the Biblical Gospel and there is no exaggeration when I say that it absolutely WRECKED me.
Some quick background: I grew up in a Christian home, always went to church, attended two Bible Colleges, married a Christian man, and we have done youth ministry and my husband has been the senior minister of a church.
I grew up believing that I was given a gift of FREE WILL and that I had the decision and ability to either choose or reject Christ as my Savior.
I was taught and believed that once I was a Christian, which happened at the time of baptism, that I could lose my salvation.
I ended up watching the full version of American Gospel: Christ Alone and then I immediately watched American Gospel: Christ Crucified.
I was hearing things I had never heard before and I was shaken.
Fast forward some months and a Texas Reformed Pastor sat on the phone with me while I cried and cried. I did not understand Reformed Theology. It was so absolutely different than what I had been taught and believed for 30+ years. He walked me through passages so patiently, let me argue and cry, but he never gave up on explaining the truth to me.
It took time, a lot of prayer and study but…
Fast forward to a year later and I am a completely different woman, who believes in a completely different Theology.
I went from being a self-centered woman to being humbled – completely torn open and broken before our Holy God. The Sovereignty of God has slayed me and rightly so. My pride and arrogance was destructive and seriously destroying my family from the inside out, because of me, because of my sin.
I had rebelled against God’s commands for me as a woman of the Lord in every possible way. I was brought down to my face, couldn’t get low enough, before God. I repented and confessed.
Over time God has restored to me a love and zeal for Biblical Marriage, Homemaking, and Mothering that I never thought I would ever have again.
I have gleaned wisdom from Paul Washer and Elisabeth Elliot about Marriage; Costi Hinn and Anthony Wood. I have grown and learned so much. My desire is to be a virtuous woman – a virtuous wife – and that desire has turned into repentance, confession, submission and obedience. My marriage has completely changed. Our family has completely changed. God is so so good. I cannot praise Him enough. We are continually growing in Him: By His Grace and for His Glory.
Because the American Gospel opened new doors to me of Reformed preachers and teachers, I was introduced to Justin Peters, Paul Washer, RC Sproul, Voddie B, John MacArthur, David Platt, John Piper, etc. and through them – I was able to learn the truth of so many New Age practices I was taking part in.
The biggest one being the Enneagram.
I was obsessed with the Enneagram and even taught it in our church as the minister’s wife. I told everyone about it and made them take the test.
I was shocked to learn the truth and after repenting, I made a public apology.
Through that apology I was given the opportunity to talk with Doreen Virtue on her youtube channel and that video is now on American Gospel TV to view. Which is such a blessing within itself.
The next thing that has radically changed in me is the repentance of my Food-Idol, my Gluttony, and my Laziness. All these things contributed to my Obesity.
I repented of it all.
By practicing self-control and surrendering my Binge Eating Disorder to Christ, I have lost over 50 lbs. and am nowhere near being done. Even when I get to a healthy weight for my height, I will always be needing to practice discipline in the area of my food and honoring God with my health.
I could do none of it without Jesus. None.
I now run a FB group full of over 200 women who are slaying their sin of food-worship and honoring the Lord with their health.
My husband is not Reformed. He is Arminian (I didn’t even know these names existed before American Gospel, lol.) but he has said many times: “I don’t agree with the Theology but I have seen real fruit in your life because of it.”
It is because of JESUS, the TRUE BIBLICAL JESUS, and it brings me to tears.
I am a completely different woman, all because of God and for God. All glory is His. And He used American Gospel to start this wrecking, repentance, and continual sanctification in me.
I used to proudly declare: I AM A GOOD WOMAN. And now I state: I AM A WRETCHED WOMAN, WHO CONTRIBUTES NOTHING TO MY SALVATION EXCEPT THE SIN THAT MADE IT NECESSARY. 😉
Romans 9 is my most read book these days.
I am assured of the salvation that God brought me to. He regenerated me and brought me to Himself. He saved me for Himself and from Himself. He is the Good Shepherd and He will lose NONE of His sheep. (John 6)
So, thank you AMERICAN GOSPEL Family. I have made so many friends in the Reformed Faith and they have become a huge support – sharpening me again and again with God’s Word.
SOLI DEO GLORIA!!!!!
Special shout out to Brandon Kimber, Dylan Manley, Doreen Virtue, Marcia Montenegro, Ryan Howarth, Zachary Costello, Joel Webbon, and Melissa Miller. You have all been mentors to me in one way or another. Thank you for your obedience to the Gospel and Biblical Theology.
WITH LOVE JILLIAN 